Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Its just one of those days that i feel DOWN ):
NOTE : Might be the longest post ever posted . Not interested , GET LOST !
:D
Currently slacking on comp . I only updating now since i'm left with a few minutes of slacking time . . So just ate my instant maggi already since Mum haven't cook . Later gonna go study or do homework . Then SLEEP :O My now-everyday-stressing-boring-to-die-life has started since I have FOCUS STUDY like everydday ): Have to get used to it lah . Today Dragon Fruit not here ): So sad i got stuck with the Apple and a new fruit Bannana . LOL :X Okay nvm , most ppl don't get it :D One of the Art teachers called my parents 2 BLOODY times because of my progress in doing my N-Level Art n also CCA . Haven't go for 3 weeks which doesn't include today . Two more letters to give . Later ask mum to write . And fuck sia that Miss Fasha have problem with me say lah __ CB ! Grr , so angry . And i thought CCA step down already since i already started my FS . Today was Maths & Physics ^_^ Changed to Mrs Lee's class cos Mr See just SUCKS , seriously . I'm doing okay for Chemistry just that i want to also pass my Physics . I rather pass Sciences than Humans(F hate this subject) : Yesterday went library alone to do Maths and relieve my stress . Yes .. sometimes doing hmwk relieves my stress . Btw , my legs are aching so bad because of yesterday's PE lesson . OUCH D: Not going to see Miss Sharwty Pants for a week . Then having Blood Drive on Sunday part of CIP ! Must earn more points . hehe . Btw , Malay Oral tmrrw damn nervous man : I think i'm going to be okay just that i'm not used to talking dalam Bahasa Baku . You know , perfect Malay xP hehehes . So much studying to catch up . Don't feel like i hate Maths anymore cos i used to hate it but if i don't give up on it , i'll keep trying and it isn't so hard? Nah, who am i kidding , still hard . Hahas . English , whatever . Hahs . Ermm well thats it i guess to cover up on my Studies update ?
♥
Anyways, felt like yesterday was such a mess ! I donno whats wrong with me . I am truly sorry . No mood for anything cos went home straight after Focus when some stupid asshole shouted at my ear . I went death for one day . These days also don't feel like talking so much . I talk when I feel like it , shut when i feel like doing so . I can't stand noises that much , pisses me of easily . Just need some time to distress and think straight . To watermelon , I am 1000 times SORRY . I didn't know you would feel that way but please understand what i am going through yesterday , I totally deserve it and that u scared me to death . I was in no mood lah don't have to be so angry ): I promise to eat my medicine if u eat urs (: Hehe . I miss the old times . All the people i got closed to was by accident . It just meant to be that we're frends . Cos the people i was with last time thought i was shy and quite but once they know me , i'm not like that . It takes time to please me know me understand me cos i'm not easygoing . Where were all the people that i have been wif ? Why they change ? I miss them .
♥
Ermm i know things can never be the same but the fact is that u can hate me , u can be angry with me but i can nver do back the same too you cos I still care for you (: Your still inside my distant past that i long wanted to come back but can never will . Your inside my head , my heart . If u thought I changed , then how about you ? I know i did changed , doesn't matter in behaviour or appearance but i'm still the same old girl you chose to befriend . I never regreted , i'm just glad that my past happiness was with you that you make me stronger and that you make me realise i am better than weak . I know that your lacking in showing care love and support but deep inside i know you really do , ur anger , dissapointment can show me enough that you wanted a better life and path for me but where was the happy girl who made me laugh and smile , where is she ? My heart hurts when i'm with you but still i lie to myself kept it deep inside . The only way was to stop and find myself a new happiness that i have now. I wish I was part of life now but no matter what you will always be ..
♥
Good thing i didn't cry , cos at times like these,i don't need to cos i have already been through alot and feel that my heart is stronger . I can endure physical pain but emotional pain is just too hard to handle for me . I feel like there's rocks in my head and needles on my heart . Hurts so much but words can never describe it . I'm not a crybaby or emo or whatever shit . I'm just a girl who ppl can never understand . To tell you how i feel is not the same as what the actual feeling is . I'm the type who tends to know where to stop unless something is stopping me and that i need someone to led me the way . Cos when i turn behind and realize i'm the only person left running , i can never ever look back again but instead to just look forward and run to the end , when the race gets tougher and i get stuck in the middle , i would just hope that someone would take my hand and together we will run not stopping cos we know when we finish the race together and we will wake up to find that we would still be holding each others hand no matter what (:
♥
Love never fails ? But i think pple are the one who fails to understand love . Love is like a mirror that can give you a clear or blur reflection of the faces you make either happy , sad or angry , the reflection won't be stuck there but onces it shatters you can nver determined the faces of what is reflected . All you will get is glass piercing through your every skin making it bleed but the heart that is bleeding more inside nobody can know . I feel girls are just victims of love . The poor prey that is always hunted by predators . Cos there's no point if ppl keep saying things that they don't mean cos if they mean it , it will be right straight from their sincere heart .
♥
So i donno whats tmrrw gonna be like but i hope i
get better and happy everyday :D I just need someone , someone who gets a girl like me . Hope that Thursday's plan will be ON ! Yipee . So excited . And i thought about it , did you ever treat me ? -___- Never ! LOL ! Btw , longest post ever huh ? Don't believe check my archives (; Okay byebye .
To stop hurting yourself doesn't mean to stop caring for the people you love .
♥our lips must always be sealed
5:47 PM
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
My name is Shikin :D
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